It’s 2016 and I feel invisible in a room full of 200 people.
Leaders were getting up, thanking their team one by one. And my boss thanks every single team member and completely forgets about me.
“What about Crystal,” people were yelling at her.
In that moment, my biggest fear gets confirmed. All I am going to be seen as is a support person, not a leader. Even after putting this entire team building event spanning 10 business units.
I started out in customer service at this organization. Moved around for 14 years. The go-to person for everyone ranging from service rep to vice president. I learned to communicate upward and downwards. Despite being in the company for 14 years, every position felt like a new job.
But I felt like I had to be someone else for people to hear me. And I was stressed. So stressed that my mother in law who was going through cancer took me aside and said to me: “If you don’t have a minute to yourself, then you have bigger problems.”
So I started getting into meditation. And learning to take care of myself. And out of nowhere, my boss gets let go a month later and I end up reporting into the VP.
Maybe it was my mother-in-law’s words. Maybe it was taking care of myself and being in a better headspace but I decided to gather the courage and have an honest conversation with the VP about feeling stagnant.
And that is when she ended up becoming my mentor.
She taught me how to show up.
She taught me the power positions in different spaces.
She taught me how to position myself so people at the top listen.
One time she shared with me how she would go to conferences and it would take her an entire weekend to recharge. That connected with me because I thought I was a weirdo who does that on Sundays.
And it helped me realize it was possible for someone like me to do what she does.
But my high hopes came crashing down.
My mentor decided to hire someone else instead of promoting me.
It felt like a smack in the face. I couldn’t figure out what to say or do to get recognized.
I felt I had enough so I decided to apply for another position internally. But then something unexpected happened…
On my new manager’s first day, the first thing that comes out of his mouth is he’s from Cleveland, Ohio, the same hometown I’m from.
Then to my surprise he makes this big pitch to me about why he needs me to stay with the team and why he thinks it’s valuable for me to stay.
It was the first time I felt valued so I gave him a chance and I was glad I did.
Because he formally introduced me to agile. And what felt like a betrayal ended up being the best thing that ever happened to me for the moment.
When my new manager formally introduced me to agile, I decided I no longer needed permission to pursue opportunities and grow my career.
I realized I wanted more. More information from people who were from different companies, different industries, and had different perspectives.
I got into Scrum Alliance and got my first certification in Scrum. That first training gave me the confidence to facilitate meetings for my team.
Then more teams across multiple departments started asking for my help.
So I went to conferences and trainings to learn how to scale agility across the entire organization.
I learned about big room planning
I learned about quarterly plannings
I learned how to bring in the voice of the business
And I got teams from different departments talking to each other instead of working in silos.
But then the worst thing happened…
After successfully being able to coach my teams to roll out an implementation that took them months instead of years…
My manager gets promoted to director and I don’t get any credit, yet again.
I put in my resignation and my VP mentor surprises me by telling me:
“You’re going to leave. You’re going to grow. And if you decide to come back, you’re going to come back in a higher role or you’re going to move up and up and up somewhere else”
And she was right…
Shortly after I left, I moved to a Senior Scrum Master role then landed an Enterprise Agile Coach role at a Fortune 500 company in less than a year.
One of the first people I coached was a scrum master from India.
She didn’t feel seen or recognized for her work.
I encouraged her to have conversations with people who are in different roles and figure out what kind of practices in Scrum she can use to help them solve their problems, rather than waiting for permission because of her “title” and level.
Before I left, she shared with me that she depended on me to be her guide.
And I realized the importance for coaches to have coaches.
Today I help coaches and leaders find ways to make their work visible, while providing them the support they need to be there for their teams without burning out. It’s more than agile tools and frameworks. It’s about removing communication barriers and supporting the people who have been focusing on everyone but themselves.
2016 I was feeling disempowered and invisible. Today I feel visible helping coaches and teams at organizations feel confident, seen, and empowered. When that happens, companies become more profitable.
